The Daily Snark

10 May 2012

Minor Adjustments=Big Changes

I haven’t been practicing yoga that long—maybe about 15 months—and I know I’ll feel like a beginner for years, but I figured that I had one of the most basic poses mastered at least. Downward Facing Fog (or Adho Mukha Svanasana if you want to get fancy) is one of those poses that everyone seems to know whether they practice yoga or not. It’s a great stretching pose, it’s a relaxation pose and it’s a strength-building pose.

It was one of the first poses I learned when I started yoga. Except it turns out, I never really learned it correctly.

Almost every yoga instructor I’ve had has corrected my down dog. They all pull my hips up and back and I assumed it was because they knew I was pretty bendy and were trying to give me a bigger stretch than I could do on my own.

Turns out, not so much.

Last night my instructor corrected me again, so I asked her about it after class. I felt stupid asking her to teach me down dog, but she was excited that I asked and proceeded to give me very specific instructions about my hips, and, more importantly, my rib cage. Apparently, I puff my ribs out instead of drawing them in to keep my back flat. So I set myself up and she made some minor adjustments and for the first time I really felt what that pose should be.

That’s what I love about yoga. It’s all about making minor adjustments but feeling big changes.

I’m really trying to bring that concept into my life.

It’s no secret that I’ve felt stuck for a while. It’s not that I don’t know how to get unstuck—my problem is once I make up my mind to do something, I want it done now (Just ask Bill. “When you get a few minutes, will you take out the trash?” is really “Take out the trash! NOW! “). Patience is a virtue. It’s just not mine.

I’m an all-or-nothing girl. I like to make things happen and get frustrated when they don’t. The reality is, certain things take time no matter how hard I will them to happen.

I’m learning to be okay with that. I’m learning that small adjustments are really big. I’m learning that small adjustment add up to big progress over time.

Hey! Will someone remind me of that every once in a while?

Filed Under: Life, Working Out, yoga

6 May 2012

Freelance Doesn’t Mean Free

posted by Mo 4 Comments

My writing portfolio needs to get updated. I’m trying to generate some recent writing clips while making a few bucks on the side, so I signed up on one of those websites where people post projects and freelancers submit proposals.

Scrolling through the project listings is frustrating because the site is littered with requests like “100 blog posts in 3 days and we’ll pay 2 cents a word.” And the non-specific: “I have blog and need a 5,000-word article on dogs.” Or: “Earn $12 a day! Looking for a writer who can turn around 30 blog posts for .40 cents a post.”

And those are on one of the more legitimate sites out there.

I realize I don’t have to bid on any of those, but it pisses me off to see that people either don’t appreciate how much hard work goes into writing and editing (if it was easy, why wouldn’t they save themselves the two bucks just do it themselves?) or they figure that people are desperate. And I guess people are desperate because jobs like that have 10 or more bids.

The heyday of freelancing has passed. The days of $2 or more a word for an article are long gone. Especially for print publications. But some of these projects seem to exploit writers and editors. And not just people who are looking for a few clips to generate a portfolio, but talented, accomplished professionals. It seems wrong.

I don’t know the answer, though. And it doesn’t look to be changing any time soon. In this era of technology and instant connectivity, it looks like what I really need to do is start doing some good old-fashioned leg work—researching the magazines and websites I want to work for, find contact info for editors, craft eye-catching queries and keep at it until someone gives me a break.

I’m curious, though: Has anyone used any of those sites? Have you generated any legitimate work? Was it worth it?

Filed Under: I'm cranky, Life, Rants & Raves Tagged With: editing, freelance writing, Writing

3 May 2012

Midnight Snack

posted by Mo 1 Comment

You know the expression: “Shit-eating grin”?

That’s Penny and Gracie.

Yup—my dogs eat their own shit.

Joyfully!

I’ve tried every which way to stop them from doing it—sprinkling Forbid into their food (it’s a powder that’s supposed to make their poop taste nasty) and feeding them pineapple chunks and canned pumpkin (same idea). None of it makes a difference. It just leaves a nice garnish when they return to it.

Penny will stand behind Gracie while she’s squatting, watching intently, grabbing it before it hits the ground.

I started putting them outside one by one and stood over them with a poop scoop while the did their business, but they are fast little bitches. They can spin around and gulp it down before it even registers with me that they’re done.

They’re out of my site all day, hanging in the back yard, so I have no control over what they do then. I could crate them all day, but that seems mean.

I hit my breaking point when they’d ask to go out at 1:00 a.m. ON. THE. DOT. every night, and poop for the express purpose of having a little midnight snack.

I’ve done some research on it and half of the experts say it’s not good for them and half say it’s fine as long as they’re both healthy (and they are). In fact, this was completely normal behavior for dogs before they were domesticated. They had to live off whatever they could find—including the poop of other animals. So you could say they’re born to do it.

My favorite explanation for poop eating is “If you clean up after your dog while he looks on, he may misunderstand your intent and try to copy your actions in some fashion by ‘picking up after himself.’” Um, really? They’re smart dogs but not that smart.

I’ve switched dog food, thinking they weren’t getting enough nutrients. I switched again when I though they were getting too much protein. None of it made a difference.

I finally realized why they’re doing it.

They’re fast-eating poop lovers. They both eat so fast that Penny will have her bowl empty a second after I put it down for her. Those bowls designed to slow down a dog’s eating? Merely a brief roadblock. I’ve separated them at meals, hoping they would stop worrying that the other was going to steal her food and slow down, but they still forage in their bowls like bears in Dumpsters.

As a result, they aren’t digesting their food and when they poop, the food (and its nutrients) is still pretty intact—and apparently tasty as hell.

I give up.

They can eat all the poop they want.

Just don’t come to me looking for kisses.