2008 July

Happy Birthday!

Today is my husband’s birthday. He will be 54. He’s 15 years older than me and I like to give him a hard time about that. These comments are usually along the lines of, “When you started the police academy, I was 8.” “When you graduated from high school, I was, um, born.”

But this marrying an older man thing has worked out pretty well. When I met Bill I was in my mid-twenties, and as much as I liked to think I had my shit together then (believe me, compared to some of my friends, I did), I still had some growing up to do. He had a certain maturity that I was searching for in guys my age, but just never found.

Bill is a good balance for me. The ying to my yang. The peanut butter to my jelly. He’s encouraged me to be more self-confident. He’s one of my biggest cheerleaders, nudging me to write on a regular basis, to go after a new job, take up roller skating again or whatever. He’s pushed me to move outside of my comfort zone and do things that I want to do but fear doing. I’m not good with change. I’m not good with trying things if I don’t know the outcome, if I don’t know whether or not I’m going to be good at them (it’s that perfectionist Virgo side of me). He’s got a few years on me so his life experience is broader than mine, and it allows me to see that no matter what happens, you have to DO. You just have to live.

He’s funny, kind of dorky, cuter than me (with the deepest blue eyes), smart and outgoing. He’s more of a “Let’s go do this” kind of person than I am. I get stuck in the details and he lives in the moment. He’s got lots of opinions and isn’t afraid to share them or defend them. He’s very politically aware, well-versed in what’s going on in the world, and he’s involved in the community. And me makes me want to be a better person.

I couldn’t have asked for a better friend, a better partner in life.

Happy Birthday, Bill!

xoxo

Filed Under: Family, Life

Fridays, or Is It Monday Yet?

posted by Mo Leave a Comment

Most people look forward to Fridays because it’s the end of the work week. Fridays mean you are about to have two days to catch up on books, movies and naps. They mean you can step away from the week and recharge your batteries.

I DON’T always look forward to Fridays. Fridays rarely mean two days of bliss are ahead. Bill and I have gotten to the point where as the month starts filling up with plans I actually have to schedule a weekend (or at least one day) to do nothing. Plan to not plan, as it were. And sadly, all of these plans are not always Julie the Cruise Director’s fault. He still plans plenty of things, but I’m now doing my share too.

This weekend is stupid-busy. Tonight after work, I have to go home, finish grooming the dog (we spent four hours—yes FOUR hours—bathing, drying, brushing, bathing again and drying again last night) so I can take her to her weekend family—her handler and her siblings—because she has dog shows Saturday and Sunday. Once she’s acceptably groomed, I have to load her in the car with her sleeping bag and overnight case and binky, and drive her 30 miles to the show grounds. Then drive home.

Normally, I would spend both days at the dog show, but tomorrow I have too many other things to do (truth be told, she does better when I’m not there anyway. “Woo-hoo! Look at Me!”). I have to get my hair cut and my nails done (I know, boo-fucking-hoo, but trust me, my car has gotten more maintenance than I have lately). We’re also having some work done on the house so I have to stick around and wait for the guy to come and patch the dry wall in our bathroom. I have 5,000 errands to do in the one hour I will have free before I have to come home and get ready to go out for Bill’s birthday dinner. That will be the fun part of the day, but the planning leading up to it has been a little, um, intense (that’s another post). We are going to a new club/restaurant in Hollywood and I’m totally looking forward to it. I may even have a couple of martinis (or 12). Bill would usually get sucked into this hell, but since tomorrow is his birthday, he’s off the hook. Just for tomorrow.

Sunday doesn’t look like it’s going to be easier. We are going to drive back out to see Gracie show that day and the length of the day depends on how well she does. So we’ll leave kind of early and may either be home at noon or at five. I have to unload her and vacuum her perpetually-shedding hair out of the car. Somewhere in all of this, I have to do 65 loads of laundry, grocery shop, do some freelance stuff, cook dinner and God knows what else. Sleep? Not so much.

As hard as my weeks are, my weekends are harder. For my birthday next month, the best gift anyone can give me is a plan-free weekend.

Filed Under: Family, Life, Pets

Connections

posted by Mo 5 Comments

All evidence to the contrary, I’m actually a pretty private person. I don’t usually put too much info about myself out there in any form—conversationally or online. However, about a month ago I started this blog and I joined Facebook.

No, the two things aren’t related. The only reason I joined Facebook was so I could play Scrabulous (a rip-off online version of Scrabble) with some friends. But there’s been a side effect—oddly, it never occurred to me that anyone would actually seek me out (my self-esteem issues would be a whole other post), but yesterday I got an e-mail from a high school friend who found me there. The nice thing is, this is someone that I’m actually happy to hear from! He was part of my posse, he was one of my best friends in high school. This is one of guys that I went to football games and parties with, studied for tests with, but never dated or had any desire to date. He was kind of like a brother to me. At some point after I moved away from home we lost touch, so it was good to hear about him and his family.

On the flip side, a few months ago, I was on another networking site (one that’s more business related) and a former co-worker popped up and asked if I’d give him a recommendation for a job. It was pretty awkward because this is someone I fired. The right thing to do would have been to be straightforward and honest and say no. What did I do? I ignored the request. Very professional of me, hu? (Not to mention grown up!) I’ve also had a couple of former friends hunt me down online over the years. People who I just don’t have anything in common with anymore—if I ever really did. This is the down side of getting and staying connected.

As my best friend Lesley knows (because we share a brain on this one), I usually keep a small but tight group of friends (are two people a group?!). And I’ve always been that way. Sometimes the group expands a bit, but it’s never huge. I’m sort of a loner to a degree. Fortunately, I married someone who is the total opposite of me because I’d probably never leave the house on the weekend. I’d be perfectly happy to sit on the couch and read and watch TV (Tori and Dean, anyone?! Anyone?).

My husband is Julie the Cruise Director—he organizes dinners with friends, bike rides, drags me to business events, you name it. I am perfectly happy to be alone when I can be, and it took my husband many years of marriage to understand this and not take it personally. It doesn’t mean I don’t love him and it doesn’t mean I don’t love spending time with him. I just need time to BE. I suspect it’s because even though I have a brother, he’s eight years older than I am, so I feel like I grew up like an only child. I never had to fight for attention. I had all the space I wanted. I hung in my room and did my thing. Most likely, I’m socially retarded and don’t even know it.

Because of my husband, I probably have a larger group of friends (and/or acquaintances) than I would otherwise—which is probably good for a hermit like me—but my core group is still small. Tiny. Miniscule. Infinitesimal. And because of him I am probably less shy (but not much) than I used to be because I’m forced to to actually speak to people. People I don’t know. Oh the horror!

I realize I’m a bit obsessed with this topic at the moment. In some ways I feel like I’m finally busting out of my shell (it’s only taken 38 years). As I wrote in an earlier post, I’m ready to take more chances and be more creative. I’m like Madonna (I heart Madonna)—reinventing myself! I guess part of that is being more open—not just to new people (or even old people) but to new experiences because you never know who you’ll meet or what will happen.

Just don’t e-mail me for a recommendation!