Bill is The Man.

As the chairman of the board of the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce, Bill was asked to ride in the Hollywood Christmas Parade to promote the 50th anniversary of the Hollywood Walk of Fame next year.

Bill, please don't sue me for using this image...

I was totally excited for HIM, but when he invited me to go with him, I was less than enthusiastic. I was ready to watch and cheer from the sidelines, but being the center of attention, even for a minute, isn’t my thing. (Reason #1 I didn’t want a 40th birthday party this year.) But he’s my husband and I love him and that’s what couples do, right? You go places and do things that you don’t want to because that’s how you show your love and support. That’s what Bill tells me anyway. My style of showing love and support is to avoid things I don’t want to do so I don’t bitch and moan and ruin HIS fun. But I digress…

This was totally not about me at all, but I complained about having to ride in the actual parade with him. “Who the hell is going to care about ME?” I must have asked that a dozen times. “Do I have to wave from the back of a convertible? Do I need to practice? What do you mean they’re going to hand you a microphone? What am I going to say?”

My support clearly knows no boundaries.

Sunday night I donned my festive winter clothes (read: jeans, a black sweater and an off-white jacket) and drove to Hollywood with Bill. Of course, on the way down I mocked his “CELEBRITY PARKING” pass. “What if they look at you and scoff? Like, who are YOU?”

Clearly, they just hand these out to anyone...

Well, it turns out, when we pulled up to the event the Talent Coordinators (yes, we were considered Talent!) had pictures and bios of the invited guests. It’s pretty clever actually. I always wondered how photographers knew who some of the Not-So-A-list Celebrities were. Instead of shouting, “Yo! Are you someone?” they have a roster.

Anyway, we’re led to the end of the red carpet where they check us in, give us ribbons to wear and then we waited in line to walk inside to wait. As soon as I found out we were waiting in line to actually WALK THE RED CARPET I panicked.

I realize walking a red carpet is the dream of millions of women in Los Angeles. That’s what they come here for—to be famous, whether it’s for who they married, who they’re dating, acting or just for the sake of being famous. Me? Not so much. I enjoy living a life of anonymity. I’m a behind-the-scenes girl whether it’s in my personal life or my work life. It amazes Bill that at 40 years old, I am still that painfully shy.

I begged not to have to walk the red carpet. Bill was stunned. “You didn’t practice your pose? You don’t know what your best side is? Did you practice how to smile?” Mocking. That’s what that was. But he realized I wasn’t kidding—I was terrified of the 50 or so cameras pointed at the carpet. My palms were sweaty, my heart was beating and I was a deer in headlights. We started to turn around but Gilles Marini (he of the naked sex scenes in Sex in the City movie. Needless to say, I couldn’t look HIM in the face!) was behind us, waiting for his turn so we couldn’t walk that way. Bill had the talent coordinator lead us behind the carpet and into the event. Later I felt bad because it would have been a good opportunity for him to promote his event next year. But he wouldn’t walk it without me.

Once safely inside I was able to relax a little bit. They set up a Green Room in the ballroom where everyone hung out while they waited for the parade to start. It was kind of fun to see celebrities walk up to other celebrities and geek out on each other because they’re fans of each other.

We were paired up to ride with Cindy Williams (aka, Shirley Feeney from Laverne & Shirley. And can I just say, Oh my GOD! That was huge for me! Watching Laverne & Shirley and Happy Days were how I spent my Tuesday nights when I was kid.) and her friend Mario Cimarro (a hunky Latin soap star), so Bill went to find her and introduce himself. In one of the more surreal moments of the night, we found Cindy talking to Dog The Bounty Hunter and his wife Beth, swooning over them and their show. Actually, the most surreal moment of the night was when Bill was talking to Dog and showed him the picture of himself dressed as Dog for Halloween. Dog was impressed but said Bill didn’t get the flip right in the front (heh!).

Dog...

...and Dawg

We grabbed some drinks and sat with Cindy at her table. The only room at the table was next to Jonathan Roberts and his wife Anna Trebunskaya from Dancing With The Stars—a show I watch religiously. Needless to say I was a little stupid for a few minutes while I controlled my fandom.

Jonathan and Anna (and I just realized I do have a side and it's not straight on)

Eventually they called our names and we walked out to our car. I hadn’t been outside since we arrived and I had no idea there were so many people! There had to be at least a half million people lined up and down the street, three and four deep. It was amazing.

As soon as Cindy walked out, the crowd went nuts. “Cindy! Cindy! I love you!” And she was unbelievably gracious. She stopped to take pictures, sign autographs and waved and talked to the crowd the entire four miles of the route.

I hate to admit it, but it was fun. I had never been to the parade before—even though I lived in Hollywood for years. The parade’s popularity has gone up and down, but it’s been around for 81 years, and I hope it’s around for another 81.

And on the off chance we get invited back next year, I’ll find my side, practice my pose and learn to wave.

Mario, me, Bill and Cindy

PS: KCOP is going to broadcast the parade on TV on December 10 and 24. Check out the Hollywood Christmas Parade website to find out what time. You can see if I made the cut in editing and mock me mercilessly if I do!

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