Dog Day Afternoons

Dog Day Afternoons

This was a decidedly dog-centric weekend, and it was a good one at that.

A couple of years ago I started Gracie in agility. She excelled at it and it was good for her because she’s a smart dog that needs to be given tasks that challenge her. We did it for a couple of months with the goal of eventually competing, but my work got in the way. The class was about 20 miles from my office—and nearly 50 miles from my house—so I’d bring her to my office and we’d drive out there after work. The arrangement worked out well until I started working late and missed too many classes. We had to stop because I just couldn’t get there.

Fast-forward to a month ago. I saw in our local events calendar that an agility class was starting up every Saturday morning at a local park and I promptly signed us up.

Saturday was the first class and I was looking forward to it, but when I showed up there were about 20 dogs and 2–3 people with every dog. I was mildly concerned how that many dogs would get enough attention in an hour, but it rapidly became clear that my bigger concern should be the fact that half of the people there had zero control over their dogs. One woman had a Labradoodle named Annie that almost outweighed her and Annie kept taking off, dragging her owner through the park. At one point, another woman had to help restrain the exuberant Annie (who was supposedly a therapy dog). The woman was worse. She was a know-it-all who dominated the class—a class she’s already taken three times.  I was so annoyed with the woman that I almost hoped Annie would chase a squirrel and drag her owner down the block.

Another woman had a beautiful Aussie, but he kept getting in Gracie’s face and up her butt. I realize that’s how dogs get to know each other but Gracie made it clear she wasn’t a fan and didn’t want him in her business so I politely asked the woman to give Gracie her space and I moved away. I wasn’t looking forward to breaking up a dog fight so I didn’t think I was being unreasonable, but she gave me a dirty look and kept her leash loose.

I was so irritated by the irresponsible behavior but Bill reminded me that most people aren’t like the dog people I’m usually around. I’m used to being around professional dog people—handlers, groomers, trainers—who keep their dogs under control at all times and who know how to read a bad situation and prevent problems before they happen.

I know—I’m a dog snob.

Once Gracie sorted it out, we had a pretty good time. This class is definitely not designed for competing—it’s more for fun—but it was a good way to get some exercise and re-introduce Gracie to agility. I am, however, going to look into getting back into a class geared toward competition.

She's a bit of a spaz, but she's excited!

Meanwhile, Penny was in San Diego for the weekend competing in conformation.

I think she was about eight months old when I entered her in her first dog show and she got her first point. I was so excited that day. And then….nothing. I knew what it was—she was just growing into herself. Just like people, some dogs mature faster than others and she just wasn’t there yet. When Bill would grumble about the money I was spending for her not to win, I’d tell him that I though she’d start doing well by the time she was 2.

Well, she turned 2 on Valentine’s Day and a week later she won both days, adding four points toward her championship. Her handler said the judges loved her and she looked awesome. She’s leaving for Arizona tomorrow (this dog travels way more than I do) for a five-day show, and I feel like it’s going to be a successful trip.

Wish us luck!

 

 

 

 

It Might Get Ugly Around Here

It Might Get Ugly Around Here

I haven’t written a real post in a while and, honestly, that’s probably a good thing for all of you. (All two of you!)

Periodically, I get into a blogging slump—I think it happens to anyone who’s blogged for more than six months—but this one has been rough. I log into to my dashboard every day, fully intending to write a fabulous blog post (hell, I’d be happy to write a mediocre one these days), and I just stare at the screen. If I’m feeling productive, I’ll click through my stats or clean out my spam folder, but most days even that’s too much for me. I have plenty to write about, but I just can’t focus. It’s easier to sit in front of the TV and watch Mob Wives (really, if you aren’t watching this show you’re missing out on one of the great reality programs on TV!).

I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me—am I burned out? do I have ADD? do I need to get out more?—and then I came across this post “When Blogging Is Seriously Hard” by Judy Dunn.

You should read it. Go on. I’ll wait.

Okay, back?

I’ve got all of those issues and then some.

Family life taking a lot of energy? Check.

My husband is going through a professional transition and it’s stressing him out, which stresses me out. He is the most grounded, easy-going person I know and it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers, so on the rare occasions when he allows things to get to him, it’s unsettling. There’s a disturbance in the Force and I don’t like it. He keeps me tethered to reality and when he’s distracted from that, well, everything falls to shit. More accurately, I fall to shit. The thing is, he’s a bad-ass motherfucker and this situation is going to work to his advantage and turn out better for him in the long run. The process is frustrating, though.

Going through my own professional transition? Check.

My career thing is a struggle for me right now. The fact that I refer to it as a “career thing” lets you know how discombobulated I am. I don’t know if I need to find something new (or even if I should), or if I just need to make some adjustments to what I’m doing. I’d like to write more (which is ironic given the fact that I’m writing about not being able to write) but I don’t know if that means transitioning back to a writing career (assuming that’s even an option for me) or freelancing. I’ve had some ugly revelations about how I’ve handled my career. I reacted poorly to some challenges in my old job and walked away from a career I really loved. Now I have the task of piecing together that experience and skill set with new ones I’ve developed over the past few years and finding the perfect place for them. It may be where I am. It may be doing something entirely different. I don’t know the answer.

Stuck inside my head too long? Check. And Check.

Much to my detriment I live in my head. In fact, it’s the worst thing an insecure, uptight, Virgo like myself can do. It’s downright debilitating at times. I am a master at mulling over the What-ifs and Then-what’s. If I could, I’d make it the focal point of my résumé. I’m that good at it. But it screws me up more than it helps.

I’ve tried to “push through the hard” but maybe I haven’t pushed hard enough. I’ve tried to step away and clear my head, but that hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to blog about it, but I’m still not comfortable with putting it all out here even after nearly 4 years in this space. Which is probably disingenuous. I struggle with that too.

The one thing I do know is that I’ve been holding back. In writing, in work, in everything. It’s time to get unstuck and start working it all out.

In her post Judy says, “When your life changes direction, so does your blog. That can be stressful but, at the same time, it’s also exhilarating.”

If you stick around it might get interesting. Or ugly.

Or both.

 

 

 

 

Wednesday Links—The “I Promise I’ll Start Publishing Real Posts Again” Edition

Really, I will. I don’t know what’s wrong with me—I have a million things I want to write about but I just can’t focus. Every time I log into the dashboard here I open a new post, stare at the mocking flashing cursor, close the window and check my dwindling stats. I’m nearing the end of my insanely busy season at work and I’m fried. Even though we were busier this year than last, my schedule was a little better, but the daily stress levels of working in entertainment marketing takes its toll. A few nights of good rest and some yoga should do the trick. I should start getting both of those next week.

But even though I haven’t been writing much, I have been doing a lot of reading.

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Today I read this article “Career Change: Should I stay Or Should I Go?” which sums up how I’ve been feeling lately.

I’m always dragging myself out of bed. It doesn’t matter how exciting a day I have to look forward to, I don’t wake up easily. I never have. Since I was child, I’ve moved slowly and painfully when an alarm goes off. So when the reasons became more to do with my job than just who I was, it was pretty easy to look past them.

… Until the signs started to pile up. Being happy you need a root canal because that means you won’t have to be in the office until 11, for example. Stopping inside of every church or temple you can find to pray that you will be included in the next round of layoffs. Hyperventilating, feeling dizziness and/or nausea within three blocks of the office. Biting the inside of your cheek until it bleeds to stop yourself from screaming because you have to listen to the same people say the same things at the same meeting they have for years while nothing changes. Forgetting what a good day at work actually feels like.

It’s not that I hate my job, because I don’t. But considering I was looking forward to having surgery last month so I could get a break, it’s probably time to figure things out…

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On a related note, I’ve been having a lot of discussions lately about doing something more meaningful or, more accurately, doing something that gives me joy. This article about job satisfaction was interesting because it seems that even though women are paid less and have less flexible hours than men, they still find more meaning in their jobs.

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It’s probably no surprise that one of my favorite writers writes about dogs (was the list of books in my Amazon widget the giveaway?). But what I love about Jon Katz is how he not only writes about the bond between humans and dogs but he also posts regularly on his blog about his life and his search for spirituality. I read this post,” Messages From the Ether. Goodbye to “Amen Charlies” yesterday and it resonated with me because he writes about not seeking support and affirmation from the outside, something I continually struggle with. I’ve come to some realizations recently about some of the choices I’ve made in my life. For too long I craved affirmation and approval from the wrong people and didn’t put enough faith and trust in myself. The final paragraph is a gut check:

Being alone with myself was a seminal step in making decisions in the new world and remembering always that these are my decisions, and I have to stand or fall with them.  Every decision, I remind myself that this is what I need to do to be a whole human being.

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 Hopefully, I’ll get through this Meh thing I’ve got going on soon because I need to start writing again.

 

 

 

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