When the ancient Greek soldiers (or was it the Vikings?) traveled across the sea to do battle, they’d immediately burn their boats, stranding themselves where they landed. With no way to make it home, victory was the only option and the soldiers were unwavering in their purpose.
I, on the other hand, am wavering.
I’ve been thinking about making changes. I’ve gotten excited about trying something new. I started to do the research to see what kind of challenge I’m up against. I’ve been talking through my plans with Bill (who, for the record, is behind whatever I want to do as long as it will make me happy).
But…
I’m getting in my own way.
Am I up to starting over? What will people think? Is this the right move in this economy? Am I being impulsive? Is this really the right move for me?
What if I fail?
That right there is the question that will stop this in its tracks.
I have left a trail of abandoned ideas and projects in my wake. I’ve quit or simply not started things because I knew I wouldn’t be good at them or they would be a struggle to finish. Flute lessons at 9? Quit after three lessons because it was too hard. Swim team? After competing for seven years I quit by high school because I’d have to work too hard to be competitive. I’ve even quit things because I’ve cared too deeply about what other people think of me. (Self-esteem: I have none.)
Avoiding failure is avoiding taking a risk.
And I don’t think I’ve ever really taken a risk. Not a true put-it-all-out-there risk.
It’s time to set some goals and attach a deadline. I have to name the worst-case scenario and put that into perspective. And I have to tell my inner critic to shut the hell up.
It’s time to burn the boat.
I always associate the Vikings with the boat burnings, but maybe that is just the funeral and not the “nothing less than” victory pyres.
Wishing you all the best in your new endeavor!
Margaret recently posted..Backing up just a little
“Am I up to starting over? What will people think? Is this the right move in this economy? Am I being impulsive? Is this really the right move for me?
What if I fail?”
First of all, take a deep breath. Look at your questions one at a time.
1. Are you up to starting over? Probably. But change is hard, scary. Leaving your comfort zone can be terrifying. You said yourself that you were getting excited. That right there speaks volumes.
2. What will people think? Really? Who cares? NO ONE cares. Some will make comments, offer unsolicited advice, pass judgement, sure. But that would be their own insecurities and envy showing through. Stay excited!
3. The right move in this economy? That is an important question. If it makes sense for you and Bill and won’t cause you to suffer financially or to dramatically change your lifestyle (unless that is your goal), then, sure. Do it. If you cannot say yes confidently, then pass for now.
4. Am I being impulsive? Um, no. Just from reading this blog, I know that you have been stirring this around for a while. Impulsive would have been just doing it, with no forethought.
5. Is this really the right move? Sit quietly with yourself. You already know the answer to that.
6. What if you fail? What if you don’t? If you fail, then think about the fun you’ll have had and the joy you have felt while you tried something new.
Personally, I can’t wait to see where you go next. And my advice? JUMP. The universe will provide the right place to land.
Jump.
“JUMP. The universe will provide the right place to land.”
I may have to steal that and make it my mantra!
I am the queen of Negative Thoughts. I can come up with 150 reasons why I shouldn’t do this (or anything) without even trying. Coming up with 5 reasons why I should do something is so much harder. But I do realize without risk there is no reward.
I took a few steps already to make this happen, so maybe I will JUMP!
It was Cortez. He was Spanish. Vikings burned the ships for a funeral. The Greeks, well, were just the Greeks.
I knew I should have checked with you first!
There is always a reason to change someday except someday never comes. Easy for me to suggest that someone take a risk, but I do believe in it.
I’ll be 43 in May. Been consulting for a number of years now, not entirely by choice. More than a few people have said in not so many words that I am too old and that I would command too much salary if they hired me full time.
But I never have seen that as a reason not to chase after some of the dreams I am running down. I want my kids to see that dad doesn’t back down.
Burn the boats- I like it.
Jack@TheJackB recently posted..Be A Better Blogger- Sustain Your Effort Edition
“There is always a reason to change someday except someday never comes. ”
Exactly.
I’ll be 43 in August and it feels like a now-or-never endeavor for me. Considering we live longer and work longer, it’s fascinating to me that making extensive changes at this age is such a big deal. I don’t feel old, and frankly, I think I’m smarter and more capable now than I was 20 years ago. However, I have more responsibilities now—career, house, husband, dogs… I suppose that’s why it’s that much more terrifying. But I never want to look back and think “If only” or “I wish I had done…”
As one overly cautious virgo to another, I think you probably deep down know that making the jump is the right thing for you to do. You’ve been talking about it and contemplating it for a while now and it seems far from impulsive at this point.
People won’t think less of you for making a big change, if anything they’ll be jealous that they don’t have the nerve to do it too. And will certainly admire you for having the courage to start over.
If you didn’t have to worry about finances and all of that, would you make the change? And if so, you need to figure out how you can make your life work while you ramp up in your new chosen career path. If you don’t take the risk now, you’ll always regret it.
My only other suggestion would be to try to find a way to have some overlap of old and new careers. That might make the transition a bit more subtle and more palatable to your very cautious side.
But honestly, I’m all for burning the boat!
Kimberly recently posted..Costco UK Coupon Book: March 19 – April 7, 2012
If people react badly because you start over, it will be because they don’t dare to make any changes in their own lives. People who are happy about themselves and what they are doing don’t have the need to look down on others for doing something new. You go girl, and good luck!
Susi aka Sinead recently posted..Such an eejit…
“I’m getting in my own way.
Am I up to starting over? What will people think? Is this the right move in this economy? Am I being impulsive? Is this really the right move for me?
What if I fail?
That right there is the question that will stop this in its tracks.”
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Ditto. Love you.
xoxo