It occurred to me today that I haven’t felt really good in about 5 years.
I KNOW. Dramatic, right?
But true.
Every day I wake up feeling like I could sleep another 10 hours (after getting 8 to 9 hours of sleep already).
Every day I feel lethargic. A beat behind. Cloudy.
I take a few extra seconds (minutes) to grab simple words out of the jumble in my brain.
I make mistakes that I wouldn’t normally make if I felt well. Careless, lazy mistakes at work.
I’ve always been a little contrary. Grumpy.
Okay, okay, bitchy.
But not like this.
Now I get irrationally angry over stupid things that aren’t really worth my time or the effort. I’m agitated often because I’m always trying to manage the pain. I used to be happier, more easy going believe it or not.
I realized that it was about 5 years ago that I started to get sinus headaches on a regular basis. And not just those annoying low-grade, never-go-away kind. Although I have those too. I get the raging, please-stop-hammering-my-face-with-that-jackhammer kind. They stick around for hours, days even. I had a 10-day streak once.
I’m on Day 5 of one now, and it’s brutal. It’s been so bad that I’ve wondered if it would hurt more or less if I were to get shot in the face.
I vote less.
(Don’t worry, I won’t do it.)
I’ve gone to a few doctors and if they aren’t shining me on, telling me I need to drink more water, they’re just giving me more sinus meds that offer temporary relief but don’t really get to the bottom of WHY this is happening so much.
Last night the pain was so unmanageable that I went to Urgent Care to get some antibiotics, which I always feel like should be a last resort for me.
I also made an appointment with a second Ear, Nose and Throat doctor and I see him on Friday.
I’m not going to be passive at that appointment. I don’t want temporary solutions. I want to know why and I want to know what we’re going to do about it.
I can’t keep living in this kind of regular pain. It gets old for me and I know that it’s old for everyone around me. For the most part I suck it up and try to get on with my life and most people don’t know how bad it is and how often. Every so often—like this week—I can’t hide it. I can’t pretend that I feel okay.
okay, i don’t have the sinus and headache issues, but I’ve really been thinking lately about my decline in interest in basically everything, and my constant lethargy and lack of energy over the past however many years. I don’t feel like it’s depression, but I also don’t feel like I could possibly just be lazy. I don’t think I should be this tired all the time and incapable of mustering the effort to do all the things normal people do on a regular basis. I don’t know if I have a mental issue (I sometimes have to think things through obsessively before I can manage to actually do them) or if I have some physical issue – I have had low iron basically my whole life, maybe I have chronic fatigue or something? It also feel impossible to see a doctor about any of this because there isn’t really anything i can say other than I think i should have more energy. I should probably write my own blog post about this, lol
I hope you get a doctor to really listen and devise a plan of attack for you! No one should have to live with pain
lonek8 recently posted..NaBlahPoNot So Much
I know how you feel actually. I’ve felt like that for a few years. I don’t think I’m depressed, although I am prone to funks. I feel like something has been wrong for a while, something sort of low-grade and undefinable. Maybe it’s what I’m eating or not. Maybe I’m working out too much or not enough, maybe it’s this sinus thing. Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ve cracked the code yet, but I’m going to tackle everything one by one and see what I come up with.
Congratulations on the new baby! At least you know why you’re tired NOW!
I don’t have the sinus yuck either, but I, too, have the lethargy and lack of interest. I know much of mine comes from depression, but I *know* there is something more.
Here’s hoping you, Kate, and I all find that one doctor who can help us find the cause of the issues, rather than just writing another scrip for a bandaid cure.
Like I told Kate, I definitely get into funks, but I don’t think that’s it. I think you know when it’s something more than that. I think it’s interesting that a few of us feel that.
Don’t you live in SoCal? Is it possible the crappy air quality is finally getting to you? Just a thought.
I definitely think the crappy air quality contributes. I was talking to my dentist about this a couple of years ago because I thought I had a loose crown. When she took the X-rays and saw my sinus cavities she told me she’s noticed a lot of that lately because we’ve had some pretty gnarly fires in our area over the past 6 years or so.