The point of this is that none of us (except my mother) is perfect and we all stain our t-shirts and smear our mascara and fuck up our nails. I would add to that list that some women can wash their hair at night and magically make it look fabulous in the morning, as if they didn’t sleep on it, tangle it and make it look like ass. I am not one of those women.

I was at a store the other day looking at this really cute white shirt.

Then I remembered who I was, laughed and bought it in black.

I definitey DO NOT make small talk or delight a rommful of strangers with my witty banter. I might impress them with my ability to shovel appetizers in my mouth to keep from talking, though.

And I think you are lovely, and wonderful and perfect.

*a secret to unsmeared nails is to wait until they are pretty dry (2-3 min with a top coat of Seche Vite) and then apply cuticle oil on them. The oil creats a slick coat so that anything that bumps the nail glides off instead of marking it up. Doing my nails last thing before bed, waiting about 5 min and applying cuticle oil, and then going to sleep letting them fully dry over night has given me the best results. Hope it works for you!