Evolution

This blog will be four years old next month. Honestly, I can’t believe it. I didn’t expect it to last four months, but here I am.

When I started The Daily Snark I wanted to create a fun place to snark about life and pop culture. I wanted to revel in the absurdity. This was going to be a place where I could escape to and just laugh. It felt safe.

As I got more comfortable with being online, I started to reveal a little more of myself—who I am, what I do, what I want, what’s going on in my life. It’s been a little like the hokey pokey, though—I’d put my right foot in, then I’d take it out, unsure if I wanted to jump in and shake it all about.

I was still trying to keep it light and funny. I was trying to make that my niche (raise your hand if you hate that word as much as I do).

But it wasn’t easy to maintain that.

Every so often I’d feel compelled to write something more meaningful, deal with issues that were still raw with me. I’d hit “Publish” and then I’d retreat, afraid of what I put out there. Afraid to own my feelings. Afraid of judgment.

Then I’d sneak back with something light and fluffy and try to pretend that nothing ever happened.

And something weird started to happen. I started to drift away from the light and fluffy concoctions and have tried to write more openly.

I’ve changed a lot over the past year or so. It happens I guess. (Growth is good, right?) I’m definitely less sarcastic now than I used to be (although I will always be a snarky bitch to some degree!). That caustic tone usually came from a place of negativity, and it went hand in hand with a lot of complaining (Pity the poor person who’d ask, “Hi. What’s up? How are you?” I’d tell them exactly how I was. In excruciating detail.) That tone was reflected in this blog. Sure the verbal diarrhea felt good for a minute—and it was definitely good for a laugh—but it didn’t actually solve what was bothering me.

Wallowing in misery just begets more misery.

It has taken me a long time to learn that.

Yoga has helped. Immensely.

I have been practicing pretty regularly for about a year, and I feel like I’m in a better place. I’m happier. More content. Less concerned with who has what and why don’t I have that? I’m more focused on what I have and being grateful for it. Because—not to brag—but I’m lucky. I could even use the word “blessed.”

And I think that’s the tone that’s reflected in this blog now.

(Don’t worry—this isn’t a going to become a shiny happy yoga blog, and I haven’t lost my snark completely! I’m still going to rhapsodize about The Real Housewives from time to time!)

So now I’m left with the decision to just move forward with this blog name and ignore the obvious division between content and title, or come up with a new name and forward this url to it.

What would you do?

(PS: If you have any suggestions for titles, I’m totally open to those!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It Might Get Ugly Around Here

I haven’t written a real post in a while and, honestly, that’s probably a good thing for all of you. (All two of you!)

Periodically, I get into a blogging slump—I think it happens to anyone who’s blogged for more than six months—but this one has been rough. I log into to my dashboard every day, fully intending to write a fabulous blog post (hell, I’d be happy to write a mediocre one these days), and I just stare at the screen. If I’m feeling productive, I’ll click through my stats or clean out my spam folder, but most days even that’s too much for me. I have plenty to write about, but I just can’t focus. It’s easier to sit in front of the TV and watch Mob Wives (really, if you aren’t watching this show you’re missing out on one of the great reality programs on TV!).

I’ve been trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me—am I burned out? do I have ADD? do I need to get out more?—and then I came across this post “When Blogging Is Seriously Hard” by Judy Dunn.

You should read it. Go on. I’ll wait.

Okay, back?

I’ve got all of those issues and then some.

Family life taking a lot of energy? Check.

My husband is going through a professional transition and it’s stressing him out, which stresses me out. He is the most grounded, easy-going person I know and it takes a lot to ruffle his feathers, so on the rare occasions when he allows things to get to him, it’s unsettling. There’s a disturbance in the Force and I don’t like it. He keeps me tethered to reality and when he’s distracted from that, well, everything falls to shit. More accurately, I fall to shit. The thing is, he’s a bad-ass motherfucker and this situation is going to work to his advantage and turn out better for him in the long run. The process is frustrating, though.

Going through my own professional transition? Check.

My career thing is a struggle for me right now. The fact that I refer to it as a “career thing” lets you know how discombobulated I am. I don’t know if I need to find something new (or even if I should), or if I just need to make some adjustments to what I’m doing. I’d like to write more (which is ironic given the fact that I’m writing about not being able to write) but I don’t know if that means transitioning back to a writing career (assuming that’s even an option for me) or freelancing. I’ve had some ugly revelations about how I’ve handled my career. I reacted poorly to some challenges in my old job and walked away from a career I really loved. Now I have the task of piecing together that experience and skill set with new ones I’ve developed over the past few years and finding the perfect place for them. It may be where I am. It may be doing something entirely different. I don’t know the answer.

Stuck inside my head too long? Check. And Check.

Much to my detriment I live in my head. In fact, it’s the worst thing an insecure, uptight, Virgo like myself can do. It’s downright debilitating at times. I am a master at mulling over the What-ifs and Then-what’s. If I could, I’d make it the focal point of my résumé. I’m that good at it. But it screws me up more than it helps.

I’ve tried to “push through the hard” but maybe I haven’t pushed hard enough. I’ve tried to step away and clear my head, but that hasn’t worked. I’ve tried to blog about it, but I’m still not comfortable with putting it all out here even after nearly 4 years in this space. Which is probably disingenuous. I struggle with that too.

The one thing I do know is that I’ve been holding back. In writing, in work, in everything. It’s time to get unstuck and start working it all out.

In her post Judy says, “When your life changes direction, so does your blog. That can be stressful but, at the same time, it’s also exhilarating.”

If you stick around it might get interesting. Or ugly.

Or both.

 

 

 

 

Three Years?!

Sunday was the three-year anniversary of The Daily Snark.

A lot has changed since I first logged in to WordPress. I used to blog about random stuff like Bag, Borrow or Steal, elevator etiquette and women who pee on toilet seats in public restrooms. This blog is constantly evolving. I’ve been tinkering with the design (sorry about that) and as I’ve started to feel more comfortable, I’ve written about more personal things—not having kids, my struggle with trying to force perfection and feeling overwhelmed with my life.

I just started to keep a journal again—nothing angst-y, just a spiral notebook that I carry around so I can jot thoughts down and write notes on topics that I want to talk about. I’m hoping that will help me improve my writing because I tend to get lazy when I’m disorganized. It’s also hard for me to blog when my head is a jumble of crap. I’ve also been doing a lot of reading on blogging. I downloaded ProBlogger’s “Build a Better Blog in 31 Days” because I’ve been winging it all this time and I really want to build this blog. Don’t worry, I don’t want to be a Blogger with a capital B, I just want to make sure I’m making the most of this space. And I’m so excited about going to BlogHer for the first time this year. Not only do I want to take some of the seminars, but I can’t wait to meet the people that I’ve formed friendships with through blogging.

Whether you’ve been here from the beginning or just started stopping by, thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

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