I can’t believe I only have two weekends left in my Teacher Training Program. At times it seems like six months dragged on but most of the time it feels like it flew by just like that.
This past weekend we did our first real practice teach. Until now, we’ve paired up into groups of two and worked one on one with each other, which wasn’t as intimidating as getting up in front of the entire class.
On Saturday our teacher put a sequence up on the board and randomly assigned each of us a pose. We had five minutes to review the alignment points before we had to get up and work through the sequence as a class.
Naturally, I got a pose (Pavritta Trikonasana—Twisting Triangle) that doesn’t feel remotely good in my body so I avoid it like the plague. I do it in training because I have to, but it’s not one of those asanas that I have imprinted in my body. As I was reviewing it, I realized I didn’t know how to get my classmates into the twist part of the pose.
And because I was second to last, I had the entire class to freak the hell out about it.
After each of us got up, our instructor immediately gave us feedback. Most people did well and there were a few breakout superstars in the class. There’s a girl in there who has probably never spoken up during lecture discussions, so I was blown away when we got up and just taught the hell out of her pose. It upped the ante.
I was so nervous by my turn, but I got up in front of the room and gave some breathing direction, which allowed me to take a few more deep breaths to calm my nerves. I started off okay. I had good foundation points for them—the feet, pelvis and arms were positioned correctly, and then the whole thing fell apart. I blanked on which direction to have them twist. I tried to save it, but it was sloppy. And the thing that scared me the most was that I could hurt a student if I wasn’t careful. I was grateful and lucky that I had a class of students who knew what to do. In fact, one of the women in the front row was subtly directing me with her body so I could save the second side.
I did get dinged on not knowing the pose as well as I should (fair enough), but I did get great comments about having a nice soothing tone to my voice, and when I did give the right direction, I did a good job.
When I returned to my mat I was drenched in sweat from nerves.
I was disappointed in myself because I know I can do so much better than that. Here’s the weird thing—that near disaster somehow reinforced my desire to teach. I realized that I liked being in front of the class, and I really want to do this.
Next weekend we’ll have more time to practice teach and then we’ll review for our finals. Yes, finals plural. We’ll get a take-home exam and then the next weekend there’s an in-class final. On top of that, we’re going to have to get up again and get graded on our teaching.
I’m a little overwhelmed right now with the amount of studying I have to do, especially because work just got bat-shit crazy. Figures. Twelve-hour days are normal, so I’m really working on finding balance and making the time to keep this all together.
So when does the 300-hour session start?