The Post In Which I Freak Out

One week from today I will be done with my teacher training program.

But there’s a shit ton that needs to happen between now and then.

Over the course of the 6-month program we’ve had to take 18 additional classes by specific instructors. We were given a list of approved 200-hour instructors who could sign off our classes, which were also specifically prescribed (Level 1, Iyengar, etc.). When we started, 18 classes over six months seemed like a piece of cake. However, in my last couple of weeks I found myself chasing classes all over the city to get them signed off. Today I went to a YogaWorks down in the Hollywood area to pick up a Level 1/2 class, which was absolutely worth the drive because the teacher is a thousands kinds of awesome (I’m turning into a yoga teacher groupie). Today’s signature leaves me with one last class to get signed off before Saturday. Theoretically it shouldn’t be that hard to pick up, but work is so insane lately that getting off on time and driving to a studio, whether it’s 5 miles away or 30 is a challenge.

On top of that, I have ridiculously challenging take-home exam. I’ve spend most of this weekend working on it (when I wasn’t chasing classes that is). Aside from the usual anatomy and asana questions, there are crazy essays about some of the philosophy we covered, which isn’t my strong suit. There are also teaching scripts for asanas. We also have to choose one of two options for sequences, which would be challenging enough, but they also expect us to justify the poses we put in (I’m guessing writing “because it feels good” isn’t really what they’re looking for).

That’s in addition to studying for the in-class exam as well as preparing to teach. And, oh yeah, I have to write my yoga résumé.

The most frightening thing is that I’m second-guessing everything. If I know an answer right away on the take-home, I automatically assume it must be a trick question because it couldn’t be that simple or I couldn’t be that smart.

The word overwhelmed doesn’t even begin to cover how I feel. I’m panicking about not having enough hours in the week to get it all done.

This program has challenged me in ways I never could have imagined when I started. I now realize I’m stronger—physically and mentally—than I give myself credit for. It’s made me focus, get organized and really slow down and be present in the moment.

And now this is the ultimate test.

Think good thoughts for me!



  1. Mary says

    You must be ridiculously proud of yourself! You have worked so hard and come so far. I am beyond thrilled for you. (And I think “because it feels good” is a totally appropriate answer. Sometimes… you just need to throw one of those in there, IMO. )

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