Here’s the thing about me: I can be tough. I can stand up for myself when I need to. I’ll fight like a banshee if I’m pushed.
But for the most part? I don’t want to. I hate to. I would rather just go about my day doing my thing without worrying about what other people are or are not doing. I guess I expect that others are doing the same.
Which is why it always startles me when someone attacks me, whether it’s in my personal life or at work.
It happened yesterday. Not only did someone throw me under the bus, but that person made sure to back over me a few times to really get the job done. This wasn’t lost on anyone who witnessed it, and the person for whose benefit this was done couldn’t believe it. It came out of left field. I wasn’t in the type of environment where that was necessary.
For once, though, I didn’t take the bait. I stepped back, took a deep breath and gave a measured response. Yeah, it made me look better. But I think (I hope?) it sent the message that I wasn’t going to stoop to that level. Homey don’t play that.
It makes me wonder though—what is it about me that makes people feel it’s okay to do that? Is is the way I carry myself? Do I have zero perspective on who I am or how I’m behaving? When I was a kid I was quiet and smaller than most kids, so I was bullied. Did that just continue into adulthood? Once a victim always a victim? Or do I send out the vibe that I’m uber-aggressive and looking for a fight?
What is it about me?
I don’t know you, so I can’t really comment on whether or not there is something about you that invites bullies. However, I do know that 99.9% of this stuff is about the bully, not about their victim. And if people are doing stuff like this to you at work, they need to be taken down by a manager. You don’t need to put up with that crap.
Yeah, I agree with Xup. There’s always someone like this in work environments and management needs to have a ‘talk’ with them about bad or inappropriate workplace behavior. Usually, I think people like this do it to people that they think will not say anything, not because you’re a victim necessarily but because you’re nice or easy going or something like that.
Yeah, I agree with Xup. There’s always someone like this in work environments and management needs to have a ‘talk’ with them about bad or inappropriate workplace behavior. Usually, I think people like this do it to people that they think will not say anything, not because you’re a victim necessarily but because you’re nice or easy going or something like that.