I love to write. I need to write. I started this blog because I thought it would force me write on a regular basis. And for a while, it did. I’m constantly composing posts in my head but they don’t always make it from there to here. I think blogging makes my writing sloppy sometimes because rather than post when I have something to say (isn’t that blogging 101?) I start to worry that if I haven’t posted in a while that the 3 readers I have will forget about me so I pull something out of my ass and post it.
I know when I’ve written well. I know the difference between a shitty post, a lazy post and a well-written, well-thought-out, honest post that resonates with other people.
I’m jealous of writers that consistently post great writing. I’m in awe of their storytelling. I’m envious of the ones who’ve found a niche—and an audience—because I’m not always sure where I fit into the hierarchy of the blogosphere.
I just read a post on ABDPBT called One Line Bio and Figuring Out Your Blog’s Story. Anna writes about bloggers needing to figuring what their “thing” is—are you a mommy blogger, a food writer or was there an event that defined your or your blog? Figuring out My Thing is EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to do lately. In my comment to her I said “I don’t fit into any niche—I’m not a mommy, I don’t write about business or a hobby. I’m a 41-year-old, childless, working woman who’s addicted to reality TV. I write about my dogs, my life, and whatever else moves me.”
There are huge chunks of my life that aren’t fair game for this blog. I don’t give details about my job, I don’t talk about my stepsons because they’re adults who don’t really want me telling all their business, and I don’t write about my granddaughters because I want to protect their privacy. So that leaves me out of the mommyblogger category (which is fine because it seems a little crowded sometimes). I rarely write about politics unless I’m really pissed off. I don’t review anything. I don’t have my own kids so I write about my dogs and I’m pretty no one finds them as endearing as I do. I bitch about L.A. traffic, rude people in Starbucks, my love of reality TV and a whole bunch of other randomness.
So where does that leave me? I wonder if my focus is too broad. Or not broad enough. I’ve actually thought about abandoning this blog and maybe starting over. At one point I thought about starting a blog about dogs. I’ve even considered ditching blogging altogether. Which, truth be told, I don’t really want to do.
This is not the first time I’ve mulled this over. It’s been frustrating because I feel like I have to force myself into a niche but I don’t want this space to feel forced or contrived. I don’t want to make up a niche or a topic. I don’t want to be like some of the bloggers who are so entrenched in their niche that they can’t break free from it even though we know and they know they should have a long time ago. I like the freedom to write about anything and everything. I like the idea of this blog being like sitting in your girlfriend’s kitchen—or more accurately, like drinks out with the girls on a Friday night.
I think I’m too self-conscious. I don’t think I’ve mastered the art of putting it all out there—without putting it ALL out there. Somehow I need to figure it all out.